Xenu's Rules:
1. Be Strange.
2. Alien apparel is mandatory. An alien mask is not enough. Get an alien costume. Buy an aliens suit. Make an alien costume. Steal an alien costume. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask L Ron to help you. Tape glowsticks to shiny fabric. Make it purple. Make it pink. Already have an alien costume? Bring spare parts for the Xenufication of strangers. Examples: Alien Claws, Xenu Garcia, Xenu's naughty little helper, Martian, Venutian.
3. Twisting the Scientology paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Xenu is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, secret service agents, and store owners and doesn't break any laws!!! Scientologists do no hesitate to do any of these things. "Disorderly Conduct" is not a city in China. Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T FUCK IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Our aliens do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses should take Xenu's antics in the loving alien spirit Xenu intends, so be nice to them.
Xenu's Reminders:
1. The "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by Xenu at all times. There is no Xenu in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can help you catch up later.
2. Xenu does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Parents and Tourists are a different matter all-together -- adjust based on their attitude.
3. Xenu dresses for all occasions. Dress to maximize high weirdness whether singing weird Al, or swinging from a stripper pole.
4. Xenu doesn't whine! We will be outside much of the early day and covering a lot of ground on foot -- bring enough "snacks" to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.
5. Bring gifts -- NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids.
6. Watching aliens get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting aliens while they vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that alien.
7. Pay your own god damn bar tab. Tip the bartenders generously for putting up with us.
8. Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:
Who's in charge? "Xenu"
What organization are you with? "Xenu, The Galactic Federation"
What are you protesting? "We are not protesting! We're trying to hide from religious extremists"
(note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something serious to complain about...)
How did you get here? "My spaceship that looks like a DC-8 with rockets"
Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this mask and buy me a beer.
(gracelessly stolen from the WDC Santarchists at http://www.santarchydc.com/index.html#Rules , thanks guys!)